Regulae Domus

Eight rules. All of them bona fido.

Written over the door by Lupa in the first year, carved into the marble in the second, and added to by the Mensa Alta in every year since, mostly about the lift.
Lex Lupina

The Regulae Domus

Regula I

Nulla drama in fundo

No drama on Den grounds. No callouts, no subtweets, no discourse, no screenshots with a red circle on them. The rule the other seven exist to protect.

Regula II

Quid pro boop

Every boop is asked for first and every service is paid for in purrei. A boop without consent is a breach of Regula I. A purreus without a service is a tip.

Regula III

Pawgnus servandum est

A pawgnus, once pressed, must be honoured by the one who pressed it. The Den does not ask what the favour is. The Den has seen the slides.

Regula IV

Silentium in lobbio

Microphones are muted while eating. The lobby has heard every crisp in the Empire and does not need to hear yours.

Regula V

Caveat fursuitor

Heads come off in the Headless Lounge only. Water at the desk is free, always, and the staff will bring it to you whether you ask or not.

Regula VI

Nemo T-posat

No guest shall T-pose in the lobby, the lift or the bar. Guests whose avatar has not loaded will be escorted gently to a corner until it does.

Regula VII

Mensa Alta semper vincit

The High Table always wins. Mostly at board games, which it also wrote the rules for, in Latin, after the game had started.

Regula VIII

Fursona non grata

A guest who breaks Regula I on the grounds is declared Excommunicanis. Services are withdrawn, blankets are withdrawn, and the sommelier pretends not to know you.

Regula VIII, in practice

What Fursona non grata means

When the bell rings, the Den gives the guest one hour's grace, as a courtesy. At the end of the hour, every door is closed, every purreus is refused and every friend list in the building goes quiet at once. The guest may stay in the lobby, but nobody will bring them water, and that is the part that hurts.

There is a way back. It is long, it is sincere, and it involves helping someone fix their avatar's eyes for an hour without once saying “well, actually.”

Mensa Alta

The High Table

Twelve chairs at a very tall table, occupied by twelve floofs of great seniority who keep the Regulae and argue about them on Tuesdays. The table is tall because the first Mensa included a giraffe, who has since retired, and nobody has had the heart to cut the legs down.

Disputes are heard by the Adjudicatt, a grey cat in a grey coat who rules on each case by placing one paw on an object at the edge of the table and waiting. If the object falls, the guest loses. The object has always fallen.

XII Chairs at the table
I Adjudicatt
MMXXVI Glasses knocked off the table
0 Appeals won